In the words of Al Bundy...Let's Rock

The day of reckoning is here. I'm about to leave Queens and head up to Pawling to meet Asswrangler later this afternoon. Hopefully he can get his sorry ass out of work slightly early so we don't arrive in Lake Placid after midnight. If not, the mountains will punish him.

In recent developments, Asswrangler and I have selected "Good Ol' Boys" by Waylon Jennings as the official theme song of our adventure (for those lame asses out there, this is the Dukes of Hazzard Theme Song). The official motto of our adventure is "The mountain might get 'em, but the law never will." Feel free to use these themes in any press releases or related paraphanalia about our adventure.

Asswrangler procured for us suitable transportation last night in the form of a rental vehicle, a Ford Escort I believe. Its no General Lee, but it will do.

If we get the chance and we run into an internet connection during our travels, we will be sure to post an update from the road. However, I will make no guarantees as to whether it will be comprehensible or not as our sobriety is likely to be kept to a minimum during the course of this trip.

If I don't return alive, kiss my ass....
Love,
Nipplehonker

Nipplehonker Takes Plateau Mt.

After the Goodfellas emotional reunion on Graham Mt., this past Saturday Nipplehonker was rolling solo again in the Catskills. I approached Plateau from Rt. 214/Stoney Clove via the Devil's Path. The first mile is hell. Between the heat that day and the fact that the trail gains nearly 2000 feet of elevation in the first mile, I was pretty depressed. The best views come from Orchard Point, an open ledge 1 mile in, after which the climbing ceases.




After snapping these pics, I strolled along the flat summit for nearly two miles. I was moving pretty quickly, so I didn't really notice much. Most folks write that they enjoy the summit of Plateau, but I found nothing special about it. In fact, I found it somewhat boring. From Orchard Point the trail gains 240 feet over 2 miles. The difference in elevation is not noticeable and one is hardly aware when they pass over the actual summit. At the far end is a small view of Kaaterskill and Roundtop Mts. through the trees. All in all, I completed the nearly 8 mile hike in 3 hrs and 20 minutes. The climb was difficult, but the recent training helped some.

Nipplehonker

The Goodfellas take on Graham Mtn

The bucolic relay tower on the summit greeted us to this fine Catskill summit. The excitement was unbearable. Graham is assuredly named after some douche bag so we found this a suitable peak for the Goodfellas to do somewhat of a cleansing climb. This trip confirmed that climbing mountains is indeed a sport for those who lack any thing resembling a life.

Nipplehonker Takes Panther Mt.

Now that the torture of the bar exam is over, I can devote myself full time to training for and preparing for the Tour.

Last Thursday night I once again drove up to Woodland Valley to camp for the night so that I could embark on a my second training climb. This time I tackled Panther Mt.. I drove up late Thursday night and the trip started with an exciting moment. About a mile down the road from the campground, a black bear jumped out in front of my car, ran down the street in front of my car for a few dozen feet, and then veered off into the woods. I have "seen" a black bear twice before, but neither time did I get a really good look at one. This was one of my best looks at one, albeit only from behind while he ran away from my car. As cool as it was to see one, it wasn't exactly the most comforting thing to see right before you're about to camp for the night. Unfortunately, my camera was in the trunk with the rest of my gear and I wasn't able to get a picture.

I arrived at Woodland Valley around midnight, set up camp and was asleep by 12:30 AM. Like last time, I was up early, around a quarter after 6 and was off before 7. I stopped at the White Shack Deli for breakfast again and was on the trail towards Panther by 7:45AM.

About a half hour later I hit the trail junction between the yellow blazed Denning-Woodland Valley trail and the blue blazed Giant Ledge-Panther Mt. trail.
Around 8:40AM I made it to Giant Ledge. At around 3200 feet, the views from Giant Ledge were great, much better than when I had last been on Giant Ledge in Feb. '04. I managed to snap a self-portrait using the timer on my camera and take a view other pictures of the great views while I relaxed on the ledge for about 10 minutes.


Below is the view of Cornell and Wittenberg Mts. from Giant Ledge.
Next the trail descended into the col between Giant Ledge and the summit of Panther Mt., from the col the trail climbs about 750 feet to the summit of Panther at 3720 feet. I managed to snap this self-portrait on the summit of Panther by rigging my camera to a tree. I plan on ordering a lightweight tripod from REI for the Tour and future trips to use for more of these self pics.

After a small rest break on the summit, I headed back toward the parking area and was in my car by 11:15, having covered the 6.6 miles in about 3 hours and 15 minutes. Just one week of training in the gym made a huge difference in my pace and how I felt compared to the last climb on Slide Mt.. Hopefully a solid month of hikes like this and daily training in the gym will make the climbs on the Tour marginally less painful.

Next up this weekend: Asswrangler and I have tentative plans to do an overnight in the Catskills, possibly Graham Mt. A full trip report will follow whatever we do. Later on in the week, I'll post the gear lists I've been working on and a more detailed report of my training since I have nothing better to do now.

Nipplehonker.

Of Mountains & Men Part Deux

"In the 1920’s when asked, 'Why do you want to climb Mount Everest?' and George Mallory asserted, 'Because it is there,' he was only stating the less important half of the equation. The unspoken half is that we are here. Striving and achieving is part of our nature, built into our genetic makeup. The evidence of man’s nature manifests itself in rocket ships to the moon, skyscrapers hundreds of stories high, and flags planted on summits all around the world."

-Erik Weihenmayer, blind mountaineer
Touch the Top of the World

Another good update.

Given that the bar exam is over next week, I suggest you stop shaving and use this blog as a journal of you facial hair growth. By the time of the trip, you would have some excellent growth.

Let me know what you think, inter alia.

Asswrangler

Baxter State Park Confirms

We now have confirmation from Baxter State Park on our site reservation there, meaning each night of the adventure has been booked and confirmed. We have walk in lean-to #2 in the Katahdin Stream Campground. I have updated the chart to reflect this latest confirmation. No showers at this campground, which fits right in with the Goodfellas low impact, minimal personal hygiene philosophy.

Nipplehonker

Panty Raid

The mini-trip was a success. I departed from Queens immediately after BarBri class ended at 12:40. Over the Throggs Neck, down the Cross Bronx in some light traffic, over the GWB lower level, north on the Palisades Parkway to I-87 north and I was in Phoenicia in 2 1/2 hours. I stopped in the "Phoenicia Supermarket" for some firewood and some Velveeta shells & cheese to make for dinner. After getting slightly lost trying to find Woodland Valley Road due to some construction detours, I made it to Woodland Valley State Campground just before 4PM. I picked a nice tent site on the banks of Woodland Creek. The water in the creek (and in all the other creeks and rivers in the area) was rushing hard and was the color of chocolate milk from all the sediment turned up by the recent rains upstate. It took me about an hour to unpack my gear, pitch my tent, and get settled.


The weather was great, I just sat at my site and studied ConLaw for about an hour and a half before making dinner. I was glad I decided to make just mac and cheese and didn't get a steak. The ranger told me they have had bears in the campground every night since the 4th of July when some genius campers left their cooler out all day. After cleaning up, I lit a fire and basically stared at it for 2 hours.

While staring at the fire, and not studying, I had a thought of driving back into Phoenica, picking up a 6 pack and drinking myself to sleep. Surely, had Asswrangler been accompanying me on this trip we would have been drunk already. After thinking about this for two minutes, I realized I was too lazy to make the 15 minute drive. Then I remembered the Yankees-Red Sux game. I was able to listen to the last three innings on the radio in the car. While doing this and wishing I had brought a radio so I could listen to the game while staring at the campfire, I thought maybe XM satellite radio would be a worthwhile investment for the upcoming trip. Supposedly they carry all baseball games nationwide, and the unit is detachable from your car and insertable into a portable boom box type of thing. Asswrangler and I could surely use this on our 10 day long trip as it would avoid us having to pass the time by talking to each other. After Mo struck out the side in the ninth, I jumped in the tent and went to bed (and slept surprisingly well given the bear watch).

Up at 6:15 (an usually early start for a Goodfella), packed up, washed up and was on the road by 7. I stopped at the white shack on the corner of Rt. 28 an 47 for breakfast sandwich. While waiting for the toothless wench to fry my bacon, egg and cheese, I made an interesting observation: bolted to the front of the counter was a plaque, from the town of Shandaken, recognizing the white hick shack deli as a former site of the underground railroad. History in Shandaken!

From there I made it to the Slide Mt. parking area and was on the trail by 8AM.

The 2.75 miles to the summit were ugly. Despite the fact that Slide Mt. is the highest in the Catskills, it supposedly one of the easier hikes. I nearly had an aneurysm on the way up. Since the unfortunate demise of my Mt. Rainier training program in mid-April, the most athletic thing I've done since then involved lugging my BarBri books back to my car. It was especially frustrating when I realized in late March I would have skipped up this trail.

After hitting 3500 feet in elevation, the exploding sensation in my skull subsided a bit as the trail took a more gradual pace. Then I saw a pair of women's black lace panties hanging from a branch on the trail. Of course I had to stop and take several photos of them. As I continued to hike, I hope to find the woman who they belonged too as well. No such luck.

Finally, I passed over the base of the old fire tower that marks the summit. I made note of some nice campsites just off the trail that would be great during the winter.

The weather was sunny, but unfortunately the summit was socked in with clouds when I got to the open ledge that looks towards the Ashokan reservoir. I rested on the summit ledge for about 10 minutes, snapped a pick of the Burroughs Plaque and then headed back to the car.
After a few stops, I was back in my apartment by 3. No rain to test the tent, and the new boots worked well. They were bit slippery on wet rocks, but I'm not sure if that was due to the boot, or my wobbly legs. That's it for now...Nipplehonker signing off.

Nipplehonker Goes Solo

First off props to Asswrangler for exposing us to legal liability within 24 hours of launching this blog. We'll all rest easier now knowing he committed a massive copyright violation by attempting to pass off Dr. Evil's life story as his own. (Although local legend does say that Asswrangler ritualistically shaves his testicles in Titicus reservoir under each full moon).

Tomorrow my BarBri review class ends, so I'm going run up to the Catskills for a test run of some of my gear, some quiet bar exam study time, and to regain a small amount of sanity. My BarBri review class ends around noon, I'm going to leave straight from there, should take about 2 1/2 hrs to get to the Woodland Valley State Campground. I plan on studying for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

I bought a new pair of boots from EMS this week, so I want to make sure they aren't going to cause massive blisters and to begin breaking them in before we hit the road next month. Also, I've only used the solo tent I plan on using during the trip once before. I'm hoping for some late night rain to test its watertightness.

I'd like to be on the trail by 7AM Friday morning, tag the summit of Slide Mountain, and be back at the car and on the road back to Forest Hills by 1PM or so...then back to the grind of studying for 10 more days. I'll post a full trip report w/ pictures sometime over the weekend. Unfortunately this won't be a Team Goodfellas adventure as Asswrangler is busy working, Nipplehonker will be flying solo on this adventure.

I am Nipplehonker and I approved the contents of this message.

Asswranglers life story

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Of Mountains and Men

One may ask why we climb mountains. Are we compensating for a deficiency in other areas of our lives? Are we in search for a pigmy mountain women to befriend? Or, are we maybe just two ordinary guys with nothing to lose?

Asswrangler

Nipplehonker & the 2 night minimum

The Chart

This is Nipplehonker here. Just to clarify, Asswrangler will be posting as well. He has full access to the blog and will post as he sees fit.

DISCLAIMER: Asswrangler is a bit more rowdy than I, so I assume no responsibility for what he writes here.

Onto the trip....the link above is the map for our 10 day journey taking place in late August. It is in Microsoft Word format with links available to most everything of interest. The idea for this little journey of ours was born in the cauldron of all great ideas, the shitter.

It was first going to be a casual tour of the general areas we are going to, and then it became a mission to hit the highest point in each of New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine with some partying in between (thus the day in Montreal).

I spent most of yesterday plotting the 10 days out, finding out where we could stay, breaking up the driving, and doing some rough estimates on cost. This morning I got on the phone and internet and reserved pretty much everything. Smuggler's Notch SP and Dry River Campground both banged me for a 2 minimum when I only wanted to stay one night...they suck for that. Although I suppose that's my payback for all the late night arrival-early morning departure camping trips where I avoided the ranger collecting fees. I think the Goodfellas are still ahead of the game on that one.

On the first two nights we had planned to stay at the Wilderness Campground at Adirondack Loj, but it was booked, hence our two night stay at Whispering Pines (a serviceable alternative, but not as convenient to our route to Mt Marcy as the Loj Campground).

The only question mark is our reservation at Baxter State Park. The park has extremely limited access and as result most of the campgrounds are full. I called this morning and they have three spots left that would serve as a good launching pad for our attempt on Katahdin, but their reservation system is ancient. You have to literally mail in a form with a request. No online reservation, no reservations over the phone. So in keeping with the analness that has pervaded the preparation of this trip so far, I ran to the post office and sent our request Express Mail Overnight. I'll bet they don't see too many express mail requests to Millenocket Maine in the Forest Hills post office.

that's it for now...will post more as is necessary.

Who are we and what are we doing here?

"The Goodfellas" is our trail name which refers collectively to the individuals known as Asswrangler and Nipplehonker. Don't ask where these names came from, just accept them.

The purpose of this blog is to simultaneously entertain, inform and act as a resource to those hoping to undertake a similar trip. Our future posts will detail the preparations for our trip. There possibly will be some "live updates" during the 10 day journey. The final posts will contain a detailed trip report complete with photographs.